Monday 1 April 2019

Message for both men and women: if a relationship is not what you deserve, then be brave enough to move on. Everyone deserves a better life.

She’d just gotten married. Within a few days, she sensed something was wrong.
“You should not wear salwars, wear a saree instead”, they said. She obeyed.
She had a job. But he didn’t.
“Is money the only thing that frames our life? I can manage our expenses. You take care of me”, she said.
“It's just a sip, nothing will happen.”
Is alcohol so addictive? He couldn't leave his bottle of joy.
“Give me some money to buy a drink”, he said.
“No.”
“You have to obey what I order.”
“No, it isn't happening.”
That's where physical violence stepped in.

Work, home, pay his bills (and his mom’s, sister’s and brother’s), get abused, work. This was her usual routine.
“Why should I live here? Yes, I should leave him. No, I should leave this world”, she thought.
She stopped. But why?
Only for her hope, the hope she carried in her womb. It was her only happiness.
Her hope turned out to be a baby girl. Everything was getting normal. A new dream, a new hope, a new life.
Baby cries in the train. She feeds her.
“Why do you do this on a train? Don't you know men stare at you? The attention is what you always need, isn’t it?”, he asked.
“But she is hungry, I have to feed her.”
“I don't care. Stop this”, he replied.
Again her usual routine started.
Work, home, take care of the baby, get abused, pay their bills, work, home, get abused.
Fast forward four years.
She got a job in another city. She shifted with her husband and daughter. ‘Maybe this time I can manage him alone without his family getting involved’, she thought.
Did anything change? No.
She demanded a divorce. He cried and played out a successful emotional drama.
She filed a case against him for domestic abuse. His mother pleaded for him. She withdrew the complaint.
Everyone supported him.
“This is normal in marriages. You are a woman. You should adjust. You should change him. You cannot live alone”, Society said.
Another year passed by. She was stronger. And it was time to leave this sick relationship.
She moved out.
She was alone with her child.
Do you think he let her go without creating a fuss? No. He performed the emotional drama every time. But she never listened. She needed a peaceful life.
After some years she got divorced.
“You cannot live like this. You did something wrong. You are not pure”, they said.
She never cared. She worked hard, day and night. She bought her own house, with her own savings. She provided the best for her daughter. She educated her to be bold. She raised her to be an independent girl.
All she could do is live for her.
Moral: Every woman out there should be financially independent and mentally strong before getting married.
Not every marriage ends up like this. The message I wanted to share is for women to be bold and to say no to domestic violence and abuse. You are not meant to adjust and change the man. Stay strong, whatever the situation.

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